NaPM April 16 2014

[ellajam]

Walter

He gave his spirit full command,
directing it with deft control.
When life asked him to take a stand
he gave his spirit full command
but listened with his heart in hand,
and when death came to claim his soul
he gave his spirit full command,
directing it with deft control.


(meh, first try at triolet)

My first inkling was that this poem sounded pretty good. So that's a good sign.

Thanks Brownlie. Aside from the bad and in L6, to me it feels like for an idea with some weight it just floats away. Maybe I'll grow to like that, but I'm still meh, something seems off.

---

Mr Barker,

chose to teach, it didn't choose him,
it spat at him, brushed and pushed,
showed him all its failed floors
and ugly scuffed shouting rough
corridors, it laughed manic in his face,
tried to trip him, open his case.

He trembled and could't control
the class or his body,
holding chalk was a chore.
Offered my advice for free,
keep away before you infect me.

I was outside college frozen,
as the elephant shuffled onto the ice,
rattled by its bones ready to die
its legs shook with each mouse size step.
Shoulders heavy under the weight
of knowing it would only get worse.
I fell, offering an apologetic hand,
taking an arm as strong as a spasm.

For the first time I saw it,
the tired effort beneath such frailty,
grey wrinkles of desperation
in search of normality,
hiding in the chaos of the herd.

As the elephant drove away
I half raised a hand.

From then on when Mr Barker,
chose to teach, I chose to listen.

Keith, you are amassing a great collection of poems with a distinct character. It will be fun to read them as a group when we're done. Well done.