Light Poetry

[Leanne]

I pretty much just took random words and pieced them together.

That's ok for a draft, but good abstract poetry (unless you're a Dadaist) then looks for common threads to build an idea. Actually, I think if you get rid of "my light poetry" and just go with ...

Her dress chews on my fingers –
Eating away at light
itself

... you'll have a stronger image already.