04-02-2014, 08:42 PM
Tom,
This is mostly in trochee tetrameter...mostly. Such a simple meter to stick with. I can answer the question about the inversion. It occurs because you move into iambs, which are not natural to English syntactically, but were foisted upon by the hated Normans, thus the same problem exists in sonnets (Unless of course your Leanne, who never seems to have trouble with it).
All of the following lines are awkward, if not painful, and should be corrected forthwith, and put into correct form.
"she naked flies the ruby sundown,
carried west on Eagle's wings;
but wears for him a silken bedgown,
best he not see her private things."
"but on the the shelf she stays a'scheming
and on the shelf Morag will stay."
______________________________________________________________________
To the content:
"she naked flies the ruby sundown,
carried west on Eagle's wings;"
How does one fly the "ruby sundown" (or are they naked flies?), and if one is flying said sundown, why does one need conveyance on "Eagle's wings"?
_______________________________________________________________________
Really Tom, since morag stays in the store all of this must occur in her head. I don't know what this is about but lines like
"Morag moves among her mountains
musing in the dark back store."
certainly do more to obscure than enlighten. The only Morag I've heard of is the beastie, which lives not far from the Munroes, but she lives in the Loch, not in a "dark back store" whatever the hell that is.
No, too many clues to be just a girl named Morag who hides from people and lives mostly in her head.
Dale
This is mostly in trochee tetrameter...mostly. Such a simple meter to stick with. I can answer the question about the inversion. It occurs because you move into iambs, which are not natural to English syntactically, but were foisted upon by the hated Normans, thus the same problem exists in sonnets (Unless of course your Leanne, who never seems to have trouble with it).
All of the following lines are awkward, if not painful, and should be corrected forthwith, and put into correct form.
"she naked flies the ruby sundown,
carried west on Eagle's wings;
but wears for him a silken bedgown,
best he not see her private things."
"but on the the shelf she stays a'scheming
and on the shelf Morag will stay."
______________________________________________________________________
To the content:
"she naked flies the ruby sundown,
carried west on Eagle's wings;"
How does one fly the "ruby sundown" (or are they naked flies?), and if one is flying said sundown, why does one need conveyance on "Eagle's wings"?
_______________________________________________________________________
Really Tom, since morag stays in the store all of this must occur in her head. I don't know what this is about but lines like
"Morag moves among her mountains
musing in the dark back store."
certainly do more to obscure than enlighten. The only Morag I've heard of is the beastie, which lives not far from the Munroes, but she lives in the Loch, not in a "dark back store" whatever the hell that is.
No, too many clues to be just a girl named Morag who hides from people and lives mostly in her head.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.