03-22-2014, 12:29 PM
I think you mean 'Gaul'? Unless you are talking about the Legion whose mottoes are 'Legio Patria Nostra' and 'Honneur et Fidelité'. 
The flurry of dactyls is a great improvement. I think Leanne has inadvertently led you astray a little, though. In the 'Gaul' line, she suggested it would read better by knocking out 'and' as you have. But unless you add 'the' before 'dark', it is worse, not better. Stick 'the' in, and bingo! get another dactyl, 'WAIT for the' plus final stress.
The flurry of dactyls is a great improvement. I think Leanne has inadvertently led you astray a little, though. In the 'Gaul' line, she suggested it would read better by knocking out 'and' as you have. But unless you add 'the' before 'dark', it is worse, not better. Stick 'the' in, and bingo! get another dactyl, 'WAIT for the' plus final stress.