03-25-2010, 12:17 PM
You really do have a way with words... you handle them masterfully 
My only problem with this is that I what really made it fascinating for me was the first line: "We'd all be cacti if we could...". But we didn't get any follow-up on this idea until the very last line. Personally, I wanted to see more of this layered metaphor you were creating with cacti. Or should I take it at face value and assume you mean that people tend to take on a savage facade? Maybe I'm overthinking
Take it as a simple poem with imagery though I think it's superb.
My only problem with this is that I what really made it fascinating for me was the first line: "We'd all be cacti if we could...". But we didn't get any follow-up on this idea until the very last line. Personally, I wanted to see more of this layered metaphor you were creating with cacti. Or should I take it at face value and assume you mean that people tend to take on a savage facade? Maybe I'm overthinking
Take it as a simple poem with imagery though I think it's superb.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?