03-10-2014, 11:46 PM
I like how this taps into the tradition of moral tales.
The problem is that the poem lacks the drive that it needs to carry the reader/listener to the end. Which is partly due to the logic of the story - you walk down a road, meet pain and fear, overcome their trials - which aren't particularly arduous - and then death tells you to pop back when you fancy. At which point I am wondering why you were going down this road in the first place, and if when you fancy popping back to the house of death you will have to face the hoods of pain and fear again - wouldn't death just wave you through?
The poem feels like a tourist in the Paradise Lost theme park.
The problem is that the poem lacks the drive that it needs to carry the reader/listener to the end. Which is partly due to the logic of the story - you walk down a road, meet pain and fear, overcome their trials - which aren't particularly arduous - and then death tells you to pop back when you fancy. At which point I am wondering why you were going down this road in the first place, and if when you fancy popping back to the house of death you will have to face the hoods of pain and fear again - wouldn't death just wave you through?
The poem feels like a tourist in the Paradise Lost theme park.