03-10-2014, 10:54 AM
"A wave of nostalgia" Hmm that is too much telling I think. I like the pearl falling from your eye…but not the waterfalls of tears (cliche). This poem looks a bit too much like a diary entry and not road ready. Best I like the sky is blue and yet dull because it's an unexpected an uncommon observation. Other than that, the poem lacks surprise or new thoughts about going away for the first time. Good luck if you're planning a 2nd draft. Going abroad is a tough experience for many. So it's a challenging topic.