Transposon*

[heslopian]

.

Did we from a virus or God come? I know this is really childish, but having arranged the line like this "come" takes on its sexual meaning, for me. I think it's just because of the great emphasis on it, whereas usually, in a non-sexual context, it seems to have a shorter foot ("come oh - ver here").
is God a virus of simple chance,
come early to our little dance,
a party crasher of good luck,
in a singularity, we’re not stuck?
Man, would that really suck! The rhyme of "stuck" and "suck" feels incredibly forced, partly because "not stuck" sounds tortured and the last line suddenly veers into jokey informality. In fact, that last line is the couplet's biggest problem.

Are we a fingerprint miniscule?
A hangnail fallen from the maker,
Flake of skin from the baker? Excellent couple of lines, from "a hangnail" to "the baker". The former is thought-provoking, its successor nicely repulsive
Or is it only our loafs "loaf's" conceit,
because of infinite inherit "inherent" frailty,
we think ourselves more than wheat?

No more upon canvas than a flick,
of paint on landscape so sublime,
a single vibration in a chime,
one airy molecule in God’s chant?
Then how mundane our great thoughts,
how pitiful our angry rants? Very good last verse. The metaphors range from down-to-earth and almost domestic, to the scientific and spiritual in one (L4).

Some very effective imagery here, and of course a wonderful theme, though its syntax needs tightening. Critique is JMHO. Thank you for the read