03-05-2014, 01:56 PM
they look like nervous doe: Isn't doe female?
I'm not sure I really get this. Is there a boy and a girl making out, but then something scares them?
"A naked sinew
is draped across his girlish lover's toe,
like morbid lace in its buckled embrace.
He screams"
Where does the naked sinew come from?
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Is the he who screams the same person as the "necking kid"?
"The ancient dead hiss
of victims lost in time and space anew,
with each glass frame or tile shook by wind,
disturbs a necking kid."
If so the last part of this "with each glass frame or tile shook by wind, disturbs a necking kid." is off in terms of plural singular agreement, or so it seems to me.
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I am having a lot of difficulty figuring out who is who and when, so although this reads nicely in terms of cadence and rhyme, although doe and toe seem forced, what it is trying to say completely eludes/alludes me.
Dale
I'm not sure I really get this. Is there a boy and a girl making out, but then something scares them?
"A naked sinew
is draped across his girlish lover's toe,
like morbid lace in its buckled embrace.
He screams"
Where does the naked sinew come from?
-----------------------------------------------------
Is the he who screams the same person as the "necking kid"?
"The ancient dead hiss
of victims lost in time and space anew,
with each glass frame or tile shook by wind,
disturbs a necking kid."
If so the last part of this "with each glass frame or tile shook by wind, disturbs a necking kid." is off in terms of plural singular agreement, or so it seems to me.
--------------------------------------------
I am having a lot of difficulty figuring out who is who and when, so although this reads nicely in terms of cadence and rhyme, although doe and toe seem forced, what it is trying to say completely eludes/alludes me.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.