Deftly, and Soon

[makeshift]

Deftly, and Soon

You want to tell someone,
anyone about the snow— Its nice how the snow has space here
how all day long it has drifted
down on your bird feeder,
the decorative milk can,
bare lilacs, piling up
like earth driven clouds— This is my favorite image in the poem, really pretty and unusual
the total pallor of snow
sky creating a white sheen
of stilled acceptance
noticed only once in a lifetime

All afternoon you have wanted
to tell someone how ineffable
this moment has been Putting this stanza first would almost work. Maybe worth experimenting with. IDk

And you should do it deftly,
and soon, before that last ride
to the hospital :O this is sad, but I like it. Hospital feels really jarring, not in a bad way, but its certainly less understated then the rest of the poem. I like how the white of the hospital works with the white of snow. A very pale poem.

I enjoyed this. The quiet nature of the snow and the implied loneliness of the speaker play off of each other really beautifully. Like internal reflecting the external and vice versa. Its been snowing a lot here so thats something i've been thinking about. I can relate to the person in this poem observing something beautiful and wanting to share it. She could be a poet I guess really thats something poets do. Wish I had more constructive to say. Thnx for sharing ^_^