Miasman man

[makeshift]

Miasmatic drops of blood fall, "Mismatic" thats a cool word
coalesce, and streak away in rivulets. Interesting words here also "rivulets" "coalesce"
Painting pictures of my past.
Depicted for blurred eyes to see,
oblivion revealed to me. This line kinda ruins the first stanza for me. Oblivion is such a big word that it feels kinda trite unless its used especially poignantly imo imo, not sure if that makes sense but essentially this line makes me think of fantasy games like Dungeons n Dragons, or Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. That and the rhyming takes some of the seriousness away from it for me.

Watercolor doorways to the future I like that watercolor fits with the imagery of "blurred eyes" and "drops of blood"
never open to the scene you long to see.
At least... Not for me. Not sure this line adds anything maybe replace "you" in the previous line with "I"
Perhaps your tableau is encouraging,
full of neon colors and masterful strokes.
Perhaps your life is meaningless;
nothing more than it means to you.
I don't blame you;
I've been there too. I feel like these last four lines could be condensed

But light always shines through
cracks in our shells, we
can remember the good times
The bad.
All the things we could have had...
But also everything we've done to date,
how great it feels to begin
to Try
to understand yourself.
and to be okay with beauty in your world.
Perhaps there is beauty to be found
in the slums you envision your life.
There is always the inspiration to change
just beyond the belief you have in yourself.

Face down in a pool of shimmering, mercuric liquid,
opiated daydreams have paralyzed him.
Soon he'll wake up shivering.
oh well.
Just another day.

But the reprieve is short lived,
the feelings of despair, pain...
Too alive. The rules change.
When your lost in this miasmic sea
you wash the blood off of your face
and keep the small rules
so you can break the big ones.

Some interesting words here. I like the imagery in a lot of places with different liquids goin on. At times it felt a bit preachy:

"how great it feels to begin
to Try
to understand yourself.
and to be okay with beauty in your world.".

I think your images are more effective at conveying ideas then your bits like the quoted above. I like your message, the poem feels really positive at times despite some of the darker images, kinda Baroque feeling. My general advice would to reduce the poem to the essentials then tastefully add more to expand on ur ideas for a more stream lined poem. Thnx for sharing. JMHO JMHO ^_^