Miasman man

[ChristopherSea]

There are some intriguing images and color herein. I like the word miasma, but its over repetition and modification to miasman, miasmatic, miasmic, etc. has it leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Some de-miasma-tizing is recommended. Maybe restrict it to the title alone. In fact, some brevity and clearer syntax throughout would benefit the entire piece. For example, in the first line, the blood, drops, falls, coalesces, streaks, rivulets. Again here: 'pool of shimmering, mercuric liquid' is simply 'mercury'. In fact, mercury (Hg) is already a liquid in the pure metal form. The salt and compound forms are mercuric (e.g. mercuric sulfate HgSO4, mercuric oxide HgO2, etc). There are mercurous compounds as well. I hope something here helps with your next edit. Cheers/Chris