03-03-2014, 04:58 PM
Hi Dale,
I love what I read into this –( About time this was worded too. Way too much regurgitated clap trap out there!)
Thanks for the read.
My interpretation thoughts are along the lines of a sketch in the Black Adder series.
Taken from black Adder II episode 2:
BA No that's what I think, that's what I think! What do you think?
Try to have a thought of your own, Baldrick, thinking is so
important. What do you think?
B: I think thinking is so important my Lord.
From this I am assuming that I would deplore the US education system as much as I despise the Uk system. If I have one more un-informed and un-supported "scientific fact" delivered with that smug know it all smile, from yet another nappy wearing, shiftless, parasite - I will give up being warm and fluffy for Lent!
The poem: I did not have a problem with the word fumble having two possible meanings and so skewing the direction of the read. (I'm also British - yes it does have a slang double, but this is not in common enough parlance to affect the read in the way mentioned) . Also think that the plain, up front meaning is clear enough and you should keep the original title. I particularly liked the title and then the tone of the poem addressed to the intellectual lightweights.
The first two lines are a puzzle as you follow the thread of thought through the maze of words to get at the message and this too reinforces the meaning of the title. This verbal slap then works well and is emphasised by the use of the oh so simple rhyme scheme and is yet another put down – this was what I assumed and took from the title and first few lines.
I saw this on Sunday morning and ditto on the comment about the use of an, although this has now been explained away and corrected.
Not sure i have much crit to offer, but will be back to re-read.
....thanks for the read. 
I love what I read into this –( About time this was worded too. Way too much regurgitated clap trap out there!)
Thanks for the read.
My interpretation thoughts are along the lines of a sketch in the Black Adder series.
Taken from black Adder II episode 2:
BA No that's what I think, that's what I think! What do you think?
Try to have a thought of your own, Baldrick, thinking is so
important. What do you think?
B: I think thinking is so important my Lord.
From this I am assuming that I would deplore the US education system as much as I despise the Uk system. If I have one more un-informed and un-supported "scientific fact" delivered with that smug know it all smile, from yet another nappy wearing, shiftless, parasite - I will give up being warm and fluffy for Lent!
The poem: I did not have a problem with the word fumble having two possible meanings and so skewing the direction of the read. (I'm also British - yes it does have a slang double, but this is not in common enough parlance to affect the read in the way mentioned) . Also think that the plain, up front meaning is clear enough and you should keep the original title. I particularly liked the title and then the tone of the poem addressed to the intellectual lightweights.
The first two lines are a puzzle as you follow the thread of thought through the maze of words to get at the message and this too reinforces the meaning of the title. This verbal slap then works well and is emphasised by the use of the oh so simple rhyme scheme and is yet another put down – this was what I assumed and took from the title and first few lines.
I saw this on Sunday morning and ditto on the comment about the use of an, although this has now been explained away and corrected.
Not sure i have much crit to offer, but will be back to re-read.
(03-02-2014, 04:50 PM)Erthona Wrote: .This one cheered me up
Oncology ontology, postmodernism savoir faire,
metaphysical cancer has a certain air.
So self assured, with so little knowledge,
learned at the best local junior college.
Tested in the crucible of lunch and free rides,
all one needed was to show up and bide. And bide feel a little stilted and off somehow. The meaning is plain and it works, so no real suggestions
At best what used to be a grade school education,
they’ve never seen death, nor begged for salvation. again the meaning of the whole line is plain enough but it feels out of place in it's current wording...they haven't lived enough to claim a line on life is the sentiment I get from this line.
Yet they’ll whisper their learned platitudes to you would like to have a stronger word than learned in this line (that is the problem with them they haven learned anything they are just regurgitating information - spouting facts and statements about which they are ignorant). Also whisper felt off to the sentiment...in my experiance they don't whisper - they gob off, whilst stood on a platform of self appointed superiority
as they fumble and bumble, not knowing what they do!
–Erthona 2014
....thanks for the read.