03-03-2014, 01:23 PM
geoff said "I was confused on the speaker of line four."
Maybe change:
Only bumps in the road were what kept me alive
Saying goodbye goodbye goodbye
to something like:
The only thing that kept me alive
were the bumps in the road saying,
"Wake up, wake up, wake up!"
First two lines:
"There are nights that I've dozed on the driver's side (tense problem) You can doze in the driver's seat, not on the driver's side.
Those times where I drift over white lines" (tense problem)
There were nights I dozed while driving,
those time where I drifted over the white lines (in the middle of the road).
Dale
Maybe change:
Only bumps in the road were what kept me alive
Saying goodbye goodbye goodbye
to something like:
The only thing that kept me alive
were the bumps in the road saying,
"Wake up, wake up, wake up!"
First two lines:
"There are nights that I've dozed on the driver's side (tense problem) You can doze in the driver's seat, not on the driver's side.
Those times where I drift over white lines" (tense problem)
There were nights I dozed while driving,
those time where I drifted over the white lines (in the middle of the road).
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.