03-03-2014, 04:28 AM
Very nice piece.
There were an couple of enjambments that I would suggest looking at.
how all day long it has drifted
down on your bird feeder,
and
the total pallor of snow
sky creating a white sheen
Neither is a big issue, and the breaks do work in themselves, but equally the enjambed word could be put back without losing the meter and clarifying the sense.
There were an couple of enjambments that I would suggest looking at.
how all day long it has drifted
down on your bird feeder,
and
the total pallor of snow
sky creating a white sheen
Neither is a big issue, and the breaks do work in themselves, but equally the enjambed word could be put back without losing the meter and clarifying the sense.