Everything is still here
#8
(02-24-2014, 07:13 PM)tomoffing Wrote:  Everything is still here

as I exhale, unfurling worries
as wisps of silk that purl
and shimmer in puddled moonlight,
each breathed into hindsight
by the first stars I ever saw.

A frozen one third acre of silence
amplifies echoes of innocence
that rustle in the briars
and sloe bushes, as I did
when still small enough
to evade their barbs
Echoes of innocence is cliché enough to be a movie title. Even if it wasnt , it is the __________ of "(some random abstraction)" construct that almost alway reads hackneyed in poetry. You do it again with "acre of silence".
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Messages In This Thread
Everything is still here - by tomoffing - 02-24-2014, 07:13 PM
RE: Everything is still here - by ellajam - 02-24-2014, 10:01 PM
RE: Everything is still here - by kindofahippy - 02-24-2014, 11:19 PM
RE: Everything is still here - by 71degrees - 02-24-2014, 11:40 PM
RE: Everything is still here - by tomoffing - 02-25-2014, 07:48 AM
RE: Everything is still here - by geoff - 02-25-2014, 11:54 AM
RE: Everything is still here - by visualcondyle - 02-26-2014, 02:02 AM
RE: Everything is still here - by milo - 03-02-2014, 12:29 AM
RE: Everything is still here - by jeremyyoung - 03-02-2014, 05:50 PM
RE: Everything is still here - by ChristopherSea - 03-04-2014, 03:36 AM
RE: Everything is still here - by beaufort - 03-04-2014, 06:25 AM
RE: Everything is still here - by tomoffing - 03-04-2014, 10:00 AM
RE: Everything is still here - by geoff - 03-05-2014, 12:52 PM



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