You Catch Me

[geoff]

I stumble, fall
You catch me
For 20 years you,
In your quiet strength
Have watched me grow,
Watched me trip on
Bumps along the road
And yet you stay, allowing
The path of life to teach
Helping along the way
Pointing out missed road signs
As I traversed the pathway

Fights along the way
We had our share
And yet, when I gave up on myself
You were there to remind me
That anything I wanted
Was within my grasp
And as I continue on my journey
I know that you,
Standing, strong as always
Will still be there, loving

For 20 years,
Refusing to understand what has been done
I now know how strong you have made me
So thank you
For my life, my love
My safety, my joy
I stumble, fall
You catch me.

Hello tmonfort,

A couple of things stood out to me with this piece:

I think a structure (meter) could be considered for the piece. Would justify line lengths to a degree; also, some of the wording in places (e.g, the first stanza) suggests the poem could rhyme if so desired, though it would take a bit of effort and editing

As is, the poem is covering a huge length of time (20 years to the present). No specific moment really gets attention. We learn about general "fights" and "trips and bumps". I don't have an event to really latch onto though. Phrasing like "You were there to remind me/That anything (italics mine)..." actually shy away from getting into detail. When I'm reading, it is the details that can establish a piece. Otherwise, while there are some nice thoughts included, I have nothing to strike me, or later remind me, of what I read. I'd like to see the piece get a defining moment.

Thanks for the read,

-geoff