02-26-2014, 10:21 AM
Hey milo,
you are voicing good concerns. we have similar issues with shape poems. that being said, where structure can reiterate an idea, I try to accommodate as best I can. I tried to maintain reasonable line breaks with this, realizing that there is a balance needed to not hurt the integrity of the piece. overall, I was pretty happy with the result
personally, I like "up" for the direction that it gives, helpful when you have stairs and also for those talks about death and afterlife, though that is my own argument for keeping it.
definitely will consider your suggestions on "shutting" and "long". I'm leaning towards keeping them as is for now (shutting has a bit more familiarity and emotion for me than an official "closing")
as always, appreciate your time and thoughts
you are voicing good concerns. we have similar issues with shape poems. that being said, where structure can reiterate an idea, I try to accommodate as best I can. I tried to maintain reasonable line breaks with this, realizing that there is a balance needed to not hurt the integrity of the piece. overall, I was pretty happy with the result
personally, I like "up" for the direction that it gives, helpful when you have stairs and also for those talks about death and afterlife, though that is my own argument for keeping it.
definitely will consider your suggestions on "shutting" and "long". I'm leaning towards keeping them as is for now (shutting has a bit more familiarity and emotion for me than an official "closing")
as always, appreciate your time and thoughts