02-25-2014, 11:12 AM
Hi, J,
I'm a beginner, but some spots that seem off to me are:
Like a rope swaying in the wind—
Succor
Velvety
Pending
Seesaw
But the poem as a whole is just too dense for me. It's as if each line is a riddle, it doesn't come together as a cohesive whole for me.
And, as I know from experience, just because each word is thoughtfully chosen, that doesn't always mean they belong in the poem.
Welcome, I hope you find the site as educational as I do, and have some fun along the way.
I'm a beginner, but some spots that seem off to me are:
Like a rope swaying in the wind—
Succor
Velvety
Pending
Seesaw
But the poem as a whole is just too dense for me. It's as if each line is a riddle, it doesn't come together as a cohesive whole for me.
And, as I know from experience, just because each word is thoughtfully chosen, that doesn't always mean they belong in the poem.
Welcome, I hope you find the site as educational as I do, and have some fun along the way.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips