02-23-2014, 04:58 AM
Yes, I could line break like that, but the intent was not to write a standard poem (I think I've done one or two of those in the past). So it's not about 'please pity me', it's just a statement.
For future reference, and without wanting to seem churlish, I'm not a fan of people rewriting my poems to what they think they ought to look like. I know some people appreciate that and it's not intended as a rebuke, it's just that by rewriting (reformatting especially) we're not working within the existing framework of the poem and we're imposing our own ideas of what it 'ought' to be.
I appreciate the input but it's not really for workshopping, that's why it's in miscellaneous -- and maybe why it shouldn't have been posted at all.
For future reference, and without wanting to seem churlish, I'm not a fan of people rewriting my poems to what they think they ought to look like. I know some people appreciate that and it's not intended as a rebuke, it's just that by rewriting (reformatting especially) we're not working within the existing framework of the poem and we're imposing our own ideas of what it 'ought' to be.
I appreciate the input but it's not really for workshopping, that's why it's in miscellaneous -- and maybe why it shouldn't have been posted at all.
It could be worse