Bullets of the Mind

[Mikeodial]

I must agree this appears to lack inspiration, and seems more a philosophical musing, and as has been pointed out, a not very original one. Although lined out like a poem, it seems to lack any kind of rhythm or cadence, and moves rather stiffly.

Instead of "unlike Hollywood", I think this would come off better if you said "unlike in the movies".

The primary problem I have is that without the title, this just becomes a description of war, not a metaphor for something, and that something I have no real clue about.

"In this decision making hell" What decision making hell are you talking about???

Dale

Thank you for all the comments. Will rework accordingly.

PS I am a Brit. ;-)

Version 2

Most bullets leave without instruction
racing past, just thoughts in a day.
Not mine
for I am a sniper,
stalking my targets with intention and desire.

I am a mark,
full of purposeful bullets,
perhaps good or evil. Mostly evil.
Fully dependent on telescopic sights and cold stone nerves.

I need my quiet to make a kill
as my victim falls aimlessly to the ground,
for others to mourn and collect.
I reflect on the outcome as random thoughts collect themselves
loading bullets for the next verbal assassination.