02-14-2014, 10:30 AM
Billy,
A lot of your comments go to why is it this way. The woman is a somewhat uneducated, dependent personality, and in love with an abusive guy who does not give her love, just uses her for his own gratification. It is written as it is, awkwardness and all because these are her thoughts.
"i don't know why but this part made me laugh." It made you laugh because you are a sick little boy!
No probably because "do the deed" generally carries the connotation of fucking someone you don't really want to, so you "do the deed". However, in this case it does not mean that.
Thanks for your comments,
Dale
"Cheap. Like you drove a low bargain for words. I said weird because I didn't want to repeat "cheap."
Word clutter. Means it feels cluttered. Not awkward so much as there is too much."
Thanks, I'll consider those in the re-write.
Dale
A lot of your comments go to why is it this way. The woman is a somewhat uneducated, dependent personality, and in love with an abusive guy who does not give her love, just uses her for his own gratification. It is written as it is, awkwardness and all because these are her thoughts.
"i don't know why but this part made me laugh." It made you laugh because you are a sick little boy!
No probably because "do the deed" generally carries the connotation of fucking someone you don't really want to, so you "do the deed". However, in this case it does not mean that.
Thanks for your comments,
Dale
"Cheap. Like you drove a low bargain for words. I said weird because I didn't want to repeat "cheap."
Word clutter. Means it feels cluttered. Not awkward so much as there is too much."
Thanks, I'll consider those in the re-write.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.