A woman's Love
#5
(02-14-2014, 10:09 AM)Erthona Wrote:  "Also why isn't "woman's" capitalized?" Oversight.

"too?" correct, typo. Good catch.

"though distance?" Should "though distant" good catch.

"The say and away rhyme feels cheap. Purposely?" What do you mean by "cheap"? Do you mean trite?

"word clutter" I would say awkward phrasing, is that what you mean?

"another weird rhyme" How so?

"I'd like to see how you respond first before I continue on with my opinions."

What I would like from you is to tell me your rationale. Such as, if a rhyme is "cheap" what do you mean by that and why is it not a good thing? I appreciate the time you have already spent with this, and if you don't want to spend more time that's fine. However, besides being more beneficial to me, I think it would help you become a better critic. Becoming a better critic also helps you become a better poet, since no one will critique your work more than yourself.


Thanks,

Dale
Cheap. Like you drove a low bargain for words. I said weird because I didn't want to repeat "cheap."

Word clutter. Means it feels cluttered. Not awkward so much as there is too much.
I'll be there in a minute.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
A woman's Love - by Erthona - 02-13-2014, 10:58 PM
RE: A woman's Love - by newsclippings - 02-14-2014, 08:05 AM
RE: A woman's Love - by billy - 02-14-2014, 10:06 AM
RE: A woman's Love - by Erthona - 02-14-2014, 10:09 AM
RE: A woman's Love - by newsclippings - 02-14-2014, 10:25 AM
RE: A woman's Love - by Erthona - 02-14-2014, 10:30 AM
RE: A woman's Love - by Erthona - 02-20-2014, 01:52 AM
RE: A woman's Love - by tomoffing - 02-20-2014, 07:07 AM
RE: A woman's Love - by 71degrees - 02-22-2014, 04:55 AM
RE: A woman's Love - by Erthona - 03-01-2014, 10:48 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!