One Theory about Alzheimer's

[ChristopherSea]

There are certain moments
everyone comes to rely on;
those thoughts that come to us
when we have uprooted roots 
and our minds have moved
elsewhere

at times, 
despite stillness, old needs stir 
and the wish to grip the present 
recedes to claim half-buried bones;
hands try to grasp shards of light, 
our old toys, an empty street,
a narrow room

an open window, fresh baked bread,
sneakers, a porcelain duck, certain
Novembers, a backyard swing set

permanence 
is left to the foolish, our present, 
left, now our past, dry-mouthed,
sun-stroked; we want to hold onto 
anything that pleas

---

"at times" and "permanence" should be justified right. Even in EDIT mode, I can't seem to move them over.

Hello 71,
I am familiar with Alzheimer's as both a researcher and affected family member (my grandmother suffered from it). I like the optimistic outlook implied herein and the view of a new perceived reality. I am not certain if the structuring, stanza breaks and lack of certain capitolizations serve the poem for the reader. For me, it created a run on, but that could be a stream of consiousness effect. Nonethless, I did like the poem. I would suggest an edit something like this:


One Theory about Alzheimer's


There are certain moments
everyone comes to rely on;
those thoughts that come to us
when we have been uprooted
and our minds have moved
elsewhere.

At times, old needs stirring
as the wish to grip the present
recedes to claim half-buried bones.
Hands try to grasp shards of light,
our old toys, an empty street,
a narrow room, an open window,
fresh baked bread, sneakers,
a porcelain duck, certain Novembers,
a backyard swing set.

Permanence
is left to the foolish;
our present has left us. Our past
is dry-mouthed, sun-stroked.
We want to hold onto
anything that pleas.

The uprooted roots seemed a bit much, Some of the punctuation placement threw me as well. The stanza break seemed unwarranted, although it could represent the open window.

Consider my editing as how I read the poem and then see for yourself if any of it benefits your piece. This is a good one. Cheers/Chris