The Void-First revision

[ralex003]

You have got a lot of good feedback on the body of your poem. The close is great, but the body could be more concise and focus better on a central theme. It seems to me that you are trying to be too all emcompassing. Additionally, you need a new title that draws us in. 'Void' is one of those words that is a cliche in itself! Everyone is either lost or trapped or F***ed in the void, etc. Try something like 'Spark in a Vacuum' , but better! Good luck with your next edit. Cheers/Chris

Thank you. Just from reading all this feedback, I'm getting new ideas for how I want to focus the poem. I think when I started to write it, I just had a vague idea of the theme. I want it to be about outer space and all it's mysteries. I think I'm going to take a different approach to my next rewrite.