Lying in my room

[ellajam]

Hi, Humbert,
This works well but I think you are missing some details that could draw the reader in more and make the poem more memorable. My main problem as a reader is I am missing the event that woke the narrator up in the final line. I think the poem would gain by some connection between all the description and the final line. Here are some notes:

Posters fill the olive suede-textured walls, Not a fan of "textured", suede olive would do.
and books that I like occupy wooden shelves. I'd drop "and", describe the books instead.
My favorite music plays right beside my ear, Plays inside my ear?
and I am quick to take its advice. Effective line, I'd drop "and",
My closet overflows with my very own look;
I’ve worked so hard to make it mine. maybe describe the look
Works of art (my favorites!)
are pinned to a cork-board that hangs
above my study desk.
Upon my dresser, my accomplishments What accomplishments?
boast my merit and define my pride.
I don’t fucking know me. What broke the busy, satisfied life to lead here?

I'd love to see what you could do with this, thanks for the read.