Heroic Crown of Sonnets (Another Activity)

[billy]

one of my reasons for a period was to cut down the long line length.
and yes, the comma after toes does work, i think my head was up my bottom when i suggested otherwise

I agree that the abacus is crucial to the poem's appeal (personally, I find it quite brilliant, and ["they are"] is certainly not needed, it is clear enough.) As far as the different ways of punctuating it, I am mostly ambivalent. I like the poem both ways. I thought the enjambment worked fine and had its own appeal, yet this other, simpler sentence structure may be easier to parse.

I'd like to think a while on that first line.

I thought billy's period after bawl was correct, but now I'm unsure again. Welcome to my world.

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i'll have another go at one after lunch in a few hours