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[Humbert]

I really like the blank verse you used in most of the lines. Lines 2 through 5 are exceptions. If you edited those lines slightly to make them the same non-rhyming iambic pentameter, the whole poem would have a nice rhythm that would make it more readable.

Otherwise, I like it. Thanks.

My thoughts exactly! The rhythm was nicely introduced and sort of lost in those lines. I like the feel of the poem, though I think some punctuation might be changed. The part that stuck out to me was the last sentence. I just feel like it should read

Appropriately sad, I think, a lawn
for entertaining guests in summer or
the spring is now wilting darkly in the rain.

The only problem with that is that might throw off the iambic pentameter going on, but if you could find a way to clean up that last sentence I think it would really strengthen the poem.

Thanks for the read