Sonnet

[shemthepenman]

Sonnet to Crush

I long to share a starry crush with you;
Before I clean these eyes with secrecy,
Nocturnal soul disarms romance in who
I taint my heart with beats of jealousy.
Adonis follows him eternally
Attach angelic summons tracing flesh
As cupid fades with star struck tragedy
Depart with lucid flame set to confess
And we decay hereafter nonetheless
As I ascend a tomb of silent screams
Soft rainbows blanket our dissolved caress
arachnids web whatever is our last dream
Pernicious Nightshade withers in with me
Awhirl within content epiphany



**this is my first sonnet I ever wrote. Go easy on me.**

I won't go over the whole thing line by line, i can see it has already been given a thorough going over. And you have explicitly asked to "go easy" on you, in which case just a reiteration of the previous comment.

It is somewhat confusing, and I suspect this is because the poem is about, possibly the most worn out subject a poem can be about, love. I have no idea how long you have been writing poetry (you said this is your first sonnet, which could be an indication), but it is the great irony that the most difficult subjects to write good or original or even half decent poetry about are the subjects the new or newish poets seem compelled to address. Namely, love, death, god, sex (and the weather, for some reason)etc. in which case, what is weakest in your poem (the almost relentless mess of words inexplicably shat on the page) also indicates that you are aware that the subject itself is a cliche, which could be your greatest strength. Now all you have to do is make it make sense (sense in the broadest sense).