02-05-2014, 01:45 PM
Indeed a semicolon is used to connect two independent clauses. A colon might be a better choice, as it seems to qualify or define the previous sentence. I am having a difficult time trying to decide what "your will" is that is being doused, though it sounds like you are finding God and becoming purified of evil (fire a metaphor for evil desire or natural evil).
That being said, I agree with Dale. I think less explanation might work in your favor, as your spiritual experience is not very relatable to any other person and becomes weaker as it goes on. That's just my opinion though; however, I love the last line, and I think you can make the rest of the poem live up to it. Good job
That being said, I agree with Dale. I think less explanation might work in your favor, as your spiritual experience is not very relatable to any other person and becomes weaker as it goes on. That's just my opinion though; however, I love the last line, and I think you can make the rest of the poem live up to it. Good job