I Wrote My Suicide Note

I Wrote My Suicide Note

71degrees Offline

Actually rather good at it

Posts: 443
Threads: 99
Joined: Sep 2013

#21

01-31-2014, 01:23 AM

(10-16-2013, 07:27 AM)Todd Wrote: Beneath your
eyelids; so you
would see.

In hieroglyphics,
so you would
never understand.

This is a fine statement poem. One of the best I've seen. My only nitpick would be your use of the semi-colon. Your second thought in the first stanza is an adverb clause, which are not usually separated by semi-colon. Unusual use and this is coming from an advocate of unusual uses for punctuation. Was curious as to your intent. It just doesn't follow the pattern used in the 2nd stanza, and stuff like that sticks out in such a short poem.

Please don't get me wrong, the poem is wonderful. I wish I had written this. I love brevity.

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Messages In This Thread

I Wrote My Suicide Note - by Todd - 10-16-2013, 07:27 AM

RE: I Wrote My Suicide Note - by billy - 10-16-2013, 09:28 AM

RE: I Wrote My Suicide Note - by Keith - 10-16-2013, 09:41 AM

RE: I Wrote My Suicide Note - by ChristopherSea - 10-16-2013, 07:48 PM

RE: I Wrote My Suicide Note - by ellajam - 10-17-2013, 01:44 AM

RE: I Wrote My Suicide Note - by bena - 10-17-2013, 02:18 AM

RE: I Wrote My Suicide Note - by milo - 10-17-2013, 04:06 AM

RE: I Wrote My Suicide Note - by tigrflye - 10-17-2013, 06:15 AM

RE: I Wrote My Suicide Note - by Todd - 10-20-2013, 10:27 AM

RE: I Wrote My Suicide Note - by sansysans - 10-21-2013, 03:48 AM