HMS Glory

[Leanne]

Keith, sometimes you write things I just can't critique. This is powerful and quite astonishing. At first I was wondering where you were going, thinking this was just another case of an old bloke mouldering in his house and missing out on the world... then you made the world change for him. I do think the rice pudding lines could be a little clearer -- there's no confusion about the pudding situation itself, but a comma after that line doesn't work well and it does read as if the jam was responsible for her near-death.

The last stanza is poignant and -- I hesitate to say, but will anyway -- damn near perfect.