Living in Time

[mahlbeck]

As she brushes her hair,
she asks him to tell her
a story with a happy ending

He tells her loving her
should be as simple
as putting a raspberry
into his mouth

They both smile; in reality,
neither understands what either
is all about

Instead, he pours them each another
glass of white wine; they put them
to their lips and drink

Being able to say things and portray ideas that escape standard discourse by finding a way to be encapsulate them in vagueness and undefined interpretation, thats poetry, and I see that in this.
I like the shortness of the poem, it brings about a certain effect. It connected with me in relation to a women I was recently with. I drew many parallels.
I am still trying to put my finger on exactly what elicits my minds decision to connect this poem to my previous lover.
Good work. My only criticism is that I prefer longer poems, but than again its more of a preference than a criticism.