Poem #5

[oxomiya]

Thanks for your comments. I can see how my comparison of an upset person's eyes to bowls of porridge can make the poem hard to understand. Even though the intent was to walk the fine line and let the reader decide for himself whether I was a hungry man romantically writing about food or writing about being stared down and about to be yelled at, I understand how it leaves most people confused. I will have to work on S1.

Sam

Interesting, though something must be a bit over my head. Is the "your" from "your ire" the two pots? It seems the narrator switched between two subjects toward which (s)he is speaking. I think it would help finish the poem off if the very last line had a strong adjective.