01-23-2014, 06:53 PM
Hi, tomoffing, first read but I love it. It's the first poem I've seen in a while where I feel center justified is justified. 
The structure is firm and sure. The missed rhyme in S1 made the rhyme sneak up on me. I like that.
The only thing I am unsure about is the switch to we. This manages to be a very specific but universal poem, the switch brought a bit of preach into it for me. Have you tried it with "I" straight through?
Thanks so much for the read, I'll be back again.
The structure is firm and sure. The missed rhyme in S1 made the rhyme sneak up on me. I like that.
The only thing I am unsure about is the switch to we. This manages to be a very specific but universal poem, the switch brought a bit of preach into it for me. Have you tried it with "I" straight through?
Thanks so much for the read, I'll be back again.
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