01-22-2014, 04:19 PM
hi penguin.
one of the problems with your poem is the repetition, it becomes boring.
try and sting how the person in the poem feels without all the [i can't be's] and the [because's]
won't look in the mirror
hate who's looking back
never walk into clothing stores
they don't carry my size
no high heels
with feet this wide
once you get something less regimented you'll be able to add some other stuff and embellish what you've got
one of the problems with your poem is the repetition, it becomes boring.
try and sting how the person in the poem feels without all the [i can't be's] and the [because's]
won't look in the mirror
hate who's looking back
never walk into clothing stores
they don't carry my size
no high heels
with feet this wide
once you get something less regimented you'll be able to add some other stuff and embellish what you've got