01-21-2014, 07:41 AM
I want to like it, I almost do. I have to think about those words that stick out at the end of a few lines. I've told you about my ideas of demonic rhymes, then there are drastic, or desperate, line breaks and stark line breaks. Not that anyone has to take my ideas seriously, I'm not concerned about that at this specific moment.
The shitty poesies distilled is fine, though I'm wondering about how it hangs at the bottom of the stanza like that.
"Breaking the fourth wall" and ending on a sharp fragment have their places too.
But what do you think? The subject or story appeals to me, but I wonder what you think about those breaks in the big stanza.
The shitty poesies distilled is fine, though I'm wondering about how it hangs at the bottom of the stanza like that.
"Breaking the fourth wall" and ending on a sharp fragment have their places too.
But what do you think? The subject or story appeals to me, but I wonder what you think about those breaks in the big stanza.