01-20-2014, 10:00 AM
(01-20-2014, 09:52 AM)justcloudy Wrote: Ah you mean overturned as in drying next to the sink? Yea that's really not clear. But then again, if you and I see different things as we read it, is that really such a problem? Dunno.Thanks so much for your response. No, it's no problem at all if we see different things. That's art (even kindergarten art
From your explanation the original tells the story much better, and the questions are real one coming from the speaker, not hypothetical. I think you could make them work, you might just have to expand slightly to set the scene better.
Just thoughts.
Maybe make the title do more work for you? Something to the effect of "friendly neighborhood"? (That is not a legitimate suggestion.)
). I just want to make the best little word picture I can. I'm having fun playing with this one, your view really helps me.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips