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Three A.M.
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01-20-2014, 08:25 AM
Hi 71. I know you dislike full stops and love short lines, and sometimes that works in your poetry. In this case the lack of one and the presence of the other really turn me off the poem. They make it seem much more juvenile than it is. Why don't you try making a version with longer lines and seeing what you think?
-justcloudy
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The howling beast is back. |
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Three A.M. - by 71degrees - 12-29-2013, 12:27 AM
RE: Three A.M. - by Farkas - 12-29-2013, 01:15 AM
RE: Three A.M. - by ellajam - 12-29-2013, 01:27 AM
RE: Three A.M. - by ThePinsir - 12-29-2013, 09:59 AM
RE: Three A.M. - by 71degrees - 12-30-2013, 08:09 AM
RE: Three A.M. - by The Blind Daemon - 01-19-2014, 08:31 PM
RE: Three A.M. - by 71degrees - 01-21-2014, 09:04 AM
RE: Three A.M. - by DonMar - 01-19-2014, 09:00 PM
RE: Three A.M. - by justcloudy - 01-20-2014, 08:25 AM
RE: Three A.M. - by Veil of Trash - 01-21-2014, 02:50 PM
RE: Three A.M. - by 71degrees - 01-22-2014, 08:30 AM
RE: Three A.M. - by billy - 01-21-2014, 04:18 PM
RE: Three A.M. - by justcloudy - 01-22-2014, 09:26 AM
RE: Three A.M. - by ellajam - 01-22-2014, 09:58 AM
RE: Three A.M. - by Erthona - 01-22-2014, 10:02 AM
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