01-19-2014, 10:12 PM
edit #1 (clemonz)
Oranges are piled up, left
in a purple bowl.
A small clay bird holds
early crocuses.
Honey and tea leaves
have left their shelves.
The fruit are still firm,
petals smooth and upright,
teapot overturned.
Original
Who brought oranges, piled
them into a purple bowl and left
on silent feet?
Who ran the faucet, filling
the small clay bird to hold
the first crocuses?
Who stayed long
enough to rinse the teapot, leaving
honey on the table?
The fruit are still firm,
petals smooth and upright,
the pot overturned.
First smartass critique:
Who cares?
Oranges are piled up, left
in a purple bowl.
A small clay bird holds
early crocuses.
Honey and tea leaves
have left their shelves.
The fruit are still firm,
petals smooth and upright,
teapot overturned.
Original
Who brought oranges, piled
them into a purple bowl and left
on silent feet?
Who ran the faucet, filling
the small clay bird to hold
the first crocuses?
Who stayed long
enough to rinse the teapot, leaving
honey on the table?
The fruit are still firm,
petals smooth and upright,
the pot overturned.
First smartass critique:
Who cares?
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips