01-19-2014, 08:31 PM
Very well done. In my opinion though it is too short. You seem to be recalling a significant, and very specific time. I think if you could expand on it, mainly on the 8th line after evening and before the clocks. I think it could give it even more depth.
That being said, it is your story to tell and you told it very well.
That being said, it is your story to tell and you told it very well.
