Escape (a sonnet)
#3
first off, an excellent effort.
some of the rhymes could be better, blurred being one of them. i'm crap at song lyrics so no bonus point for me.
wish i could have been more help Sad

(01-11-2014, 06:18 AM)ThePinsir Wrote:  There's a not-so-subtle song lyric smuggled in here. In fact, it's that song that inspired this sonnet. Bonus points if you can spot it.

Escape

The young are sold and never seen again
as zealots bomb and terrorize the towns.
Pandemics spread and scatter death around,
and woe to man as climate change begins!
The threat of nukes that melt the bone from skin
are made by men who've bought and sold the crown.
Humanity, in whole, is going down
as Satan shows his cold and calloused grin.
For precious instants, though, I can escape- for me this is the volta/change of tone, so you have the two main parts
a sanctuary in your auburn eyes
where I can lay and just forget the world.
With you I'm free, reality reshaped
into a blissful, pure, and perfect guise
where fear and fate and love are loosely blurred. im not sure the couplet is doing it's job, as it's more of a triplet that finishes it off.
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Messages In This Thread
Escape (a sonnet) - by ThePinsir - 01-11-2014, 06:18 AM
RE: Escape (a sonnet) - by rowens - 01-11-2014, 07:11 AM
RE: Escape (a sonnet) - by billy - 01-11-2014, 10:39 AM
RE: Escape (a sonnet) - by Destructed - 01-11-2014, 02:37 PM
RE: Escape (a sonnet) - by teejai - 01-12-2014, 12:24 PM
RE: Escape (a sonnet) - by tomoffing - 01-13-2014, 05:39 AM
RE: Escape (a sonnet) - by ThePinsir - 01-17-2014, 01:17 AM
RE: Escape (a sonnet) - by cheyrn - 01-17-2014, 10:50 PM



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