01-10-2014, 08:14 PM
It starts of good, but between the beginning and end it seems to lack substance. What is the fascination with her hair?
But I really liked the meaning of the final stanza.
I also like the second stanza, it starts off strong but the "...not to get your hair wet" kinda put me off and then I found it hard to get into the write properly.
I really hope you work on this, it has the potential to be a truly outstanding write. You just need to mean it, and feel it more.
But I really liked the meaning of the final stanza.
I also like the second stanza, it starts off strong but the "...not to get your hair wet" kinda put me off and then I found it hard to get into the write properly.
I really hope you work on this, it has the potential to be a truly outstanding write. You just need to mean it, and feel it more.