01-07-2014, 12:35 AM
I find your poem filled w/wonderful words. There are things I want to "see" but can't b/c you don't "show" me…your entire poem is a "tell" poem. You tell me the smell is pungent and sweet but I don't know what it is. You tell me it may be a temptation, a memory, but I don't know what it is. It's a scene in history that settles inside your heart, but I can't see it. By the time I finish your poem, I don't know anything about what you're telling me about.
Show me.
Show me.