01-05-2014, 01:01 AM
Don't understand why you break apart all the stanzas that are related. And they're not consistent either. You have a colon on all of them except the second to last one and then you use a semi colon. Again, why? The tongue in cheek attitude is cool. Kind of a Underdog theme to this as opposed to SuperMan. Bane was just used in the Batman series so I'd drop that, especially capitalized. Actually using "made of steel" is weird too b/c you go out of your way to tell us you are not him. Attaching the moniker of Superman kind of defeats your purpose.
There's something here, just not sure what. Seinfeld had a reference to Superman in every single episode of his show and it wasn't too much. It was always subtle. You have a ten stanza poem, and you over use the reference. Tongue-in-cheek satires must be subtle. Now all this being said, I did enjoy reading it b/c I am a Superman fan. Good luck and thanks for posting.
There's something here, just not sure what. Seinfeld had a reference to Superman in every single episode of his show and it wasn't too much. It was always subtle. You have a ten stanza poem, and you over use the reference. Tongue-in-cheek satires must be subtle. Now all this being said, I did enjoy reading it b/c I am a Superman fan. Good luck and thanks for posting.