12-29-2013, 10:24 AM
Great stuff! Paints an awful picture which is cool. Former smoker here, two years clean and I can identify with this poem. "Blindly I suck another burning breath of bronchial bad luck" This line I'm struggling with in terms of flow...I'm not convinced that the bad luck statement is wrong but it's too laborious a line and doesn't work well for me. Nice work tho!

