Can someone help me with the scansion of algebra?
#3
Here's an e.g.:

You take X amount of potatoes and Y amount of butter, whip it together for Z minutes, and you've got A amount of mashed potatoes.

So I could read the line as:

"Eff of you is less than y times you times suffering minus x times the good"

But I'd like it if it read as:

"Eff you less than y you suffering less x the good."

Here's why I want it to work at all. I'm working on a poem where the ants, instead of sorting grain, kill Psyche, and it's a jokey riff on the B-movie Phase IV, where irradiated ants kill a bunch of people. Here's the original (please wait on critiquing it until I get it finished). But I want line 3 S1 to be a dry calculation of the value of individual suffering:

Phase IV

I don't want to tear you to pieces, I just . . .
Want to bring back something good for all my friends.
You'll suffer so much for sooo much good beginning . . . So who cares?
Remember that icicle? You slammed out and busted
Its grip on the gutter? And you never trusted
Your anger again? Said anger made the scar it gave you sting?
You can be angry now Smile I pulled it from your twitching
Lips. If I had ears, I'd hear the thankfulness.

When You were Psyche, and I piled up the grain?
Last Valentine's You left no meat for Me . . .
But You left yellow cakes! And I'm grateful.
So here's a taste
Of being like Me, gifted and graceful, silently moving
In pieces, feeding My babies, emerging skyward without blinking.
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RE: Can someone help me with the scansion of algebra? - by crow - 12-25-2013, 08:20 AM



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