"The Chase" Edit #1

[rowens]

As a sort of comical poem, it works until after: It's of no consequence. The rhymes feel self-mocking and mocking in general. That's all right.

I've pursued you all this time.
I'm coming
to find you.
I've spread
my wings.
What a beautiful journey!

All of those lines are boring. They're not even comical.



Of your heart, maybe not,
but I, for at least tonight,
am a king!

Is a decent ending. But it, along with the lines right before it, could be reworked.