12-17-2013, 06:36 AM
Hey, nice work. I think it has a lot of potential. Before I offer any solid critiques or advice I have a few questions about the reason you made certain style decisions:
1) Why are there no stanza breaks?
2) The phrase 'akratic inertia' doesn't have the same tone of simplicity as the rest of the writing... Any reason for it or perhaps effect you are going for?
I'd like to know so I don't project my vision or artistic tendencies onto the work and rob it of it's true intention.
Thanks.
Hank.
1) Why are there no stanza breaks?
2) The phrase 'akratic inertia' doesn't have the same tone of simplicity as the rest of the writing... Any reason for it or perhaps effect you are going for?
I'd like to know so I don't project my vision or artistic tendencies onto the work and rob it of it's true intention.
Thanks.
Hank.
Bad art is good art...