12-16-2013, 05:43 PM
Hi
Thought this was a strong read (about abortion !) until I came to the 3rd last line then got confused as to what it was about. The title does tell me but I had not made the connection as I was expecting something about a tarzan likie image. Perhaps something that would help make the connection to street / township children. Also I agree with True about the awkwardness of the gath'rer line.
A nice troilet well executed apart from that one bump, but for my read if you changed that one line it would be a whole different poem and this makes me question if you have your images sown up.
Thanks for the read - it made me think on things from both your write and my read - - both distressing but important to be discussed.
All the best AJ.
Thought this was a strong read (about abortion !) until I came to the 3rd last line then got confused as to what it was about. The title does tell me but I had not made the connection as I was expecting something about a tarzan likie image. Perhaps something that would help make the connection to street / township children. Also I agree with True about the awkwardness of the gath'rer line.
A nice troilet well executed apart from that one bump, but for my read if you changed that one line it would be a whole different poem and this makes me question if you have your images sown up.
Thanks for the read - it made me think on things from both your write and my read - - both distressing but important to be discussed.
All the best AJ.
(12-16-2013, 12:45 PM)HalfOpenArms Wrote: [Feral Child]
Abandoned babe, thrown out like waste--
What woe does this poor child know!
Her hopeful future's been defaced.
Abandoned babe, thrown out like waste--
Her ties to humankind, erased.
Precocious hunter-gath'rer, though...
Abandoned babe, thrown out like waste:
What woe does such a child know?